Monday, August 10, 2009

"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you."

I just got done having a VERY late night conversation with my "little negotiator" who is having one of those night where she can come up with every excuse in the book for why she is out of bed AGAIN! Thankfully, these nights are few and far between, so I try not to beat myself up too much in the parenting department. I do have to admit, I spend LOTS of time wondering If I am a good mommy. After numerous chats with my friends, I am thankful that I am not the only one.

I just happened to come across this parent Q&A on FamilyDoctor.org ( Until that moment I didnt even know that site existed because it that had nothing to do with what I was searching for.) I am glad that I took the time to read it. 1. because I think its a pretty good checklist and
2. because I really do most of these things, several times a day.

The question: How can I be a good parent? I have that in my mind MANY times everyday but I have never directly asked it before. In the article, someone did.....

"How can I be a good parent?

There's not just one right way to raise children. And there's no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child. But here are some guidelines to help your children grow up healthy and happy:
Show your love. Every day, tell your children: "I love you. You're special to me." Give lots of hugs and kisses.


Listen when your children talk. Listening to your children tells them that you think they're important and that you're interested in what they have to say.

Make your children feel safe. Comfort them when they're scared. Show them you've taken steps to protect them.

Provide order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell them about the changes ahead of time.

Praise your children. When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you're proud of them.

Criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don't say, "You were bad." Instead, explain what the child did wrong. For example, say: "Running into the street without looking isn't safe." Then tell the child what to do instead: "First, look both ways for cars."
Be consistent. Your rules don't have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent. (Consistent means the rules are the same all the time.) If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules. Also, make sure baby-sitters and relatives know (and follow) your family rules.

Spend time with your children. Do things together, such as reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. Bad behavior is usually an attempt to get your attention."

3 things I want to add to this list right away are laugh with your children and pray with your children and sing with your children. As the fabulous minutes, hours, days and nights go by with my precious angels, I am sure there will be many more to add. I am inspired to start with this list and add many more in my goal to be a good parent and maybe someday even a GREAT parent!
Hugs,
Tara

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